Giving it back to God...

Honor the LORD with your possessions,

And with the firstfruits of all your increase;

So your barns will be filled with plenty,

And your vats will overflow with new wine.

~ Proverbs 3:9-10

I used to think I was not a slave to my possessions, until I went through financial hard times and the meanings of "want" and of "need" became more clearly defined for me.  I had always given freely to the church and to those in need, had no debt to speak of, and was extremely proud of my impeccable credit rating.  I never would have classified myself as a foolish spender.  In fact, I saved.  I counted every penny and calculated my giving.  I was proud of my retirement portfolio, and how lovely it all looked on paper.  I thought I was "set".  Then, like many business owners, the mix of a soured economy and outsourcing hit me hard.  I walked through a "desert" in my life for about 5 years, digging my heals in to save my home and investments and praying it would all get better.  I figured it had to, because I figured I had done everything right.  What the Lord revealed to me was that I had an issue of pride.  Pride is sin.  Sin gets in the way of God blessing us.  I had to let go of my attitude, as well as a lot of tangible, meaningless "stuff" (meaningless in view of eternity).  Both are baggage, and both stand in the way of us coming to know and experience Christ, God's only Son who spent His adult years walking the earth without a home.  I can now say I really appreciate the meaning of a roof over my head, food on my table, and bills when they get paid.  I don't have new clothes every season, have never bought an iPod, reuse just about everything I can, and still have not repaired the damage my car suffered 3 years ago in a minor accident.  It's just not important to me anymore to have a closet full of cute shoes.  These days, these happy days, I have discovered the freedom of letting go and running barefoot through life.  There is freedom in knowing my life is now led by my trusting and allowing God to make the decisions for me.  I now know He knows better than I do what is right for me, and now I am listening for the Spirit's voice.  While I once thought it was enough to honor Him with my financial firstfruits, I now understand what He really wants is my heart, my focus, my finances and my time, uncalculated.  This is a God I will know for eternity, so it seems only fitting to get to know Him and trust Him now, because what we do here in life today matters.  I have learned that sometimes the only way God can truly get our attention is to strip away the strongholds in our lives, the things that keep us self-centered.  I was not aware I even had any, until He revealed them.  Then, with the ability to see clearly as through an open window, one free of clutter and pride, there I finally saw the character of God, and each day has become a new journey with Him.  And now, slowly but surely, my vats are being filled as with new wine, and my barns to overflowing.

He is Faithful

Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”
~ Matthew 14:22-33

Father, sometimes we ask for Your help to "walk on water", and then we doubt and lose faith when we notice the turmoil stirring around us. Maybe we ask you to meet our financial needs, but then the next moment we worry and wonder how we will pay the bills. Maybe we take a leap of faith to try to witness to a friend who does not know You, only to back down when we wonder if we will lose their friendship. Father, help me to trust You. And thank You, that when I find myself sinking in the midst of turmoil, I can cry out to You, "Lord, save me!", and You are there.